I couldn’t believe what I overheard as my son, Hayden, challenged his friend Susana.

“My Dad is better than your Dad.”

“Uh uh. My Dad can beat your Dad any day!”

“No way; my Dad can beat your Dad with one hand tied behind his back.”

I stepped closer, in disbelief over what sounded like an argument over which father could whip the other. And then I caught it:

“My Dad CAN SO cook better than your Dad.” They were debating the respective culinary talents of Jorge and me. It occurred to me that something has really changed about fatherhood since I was a child. Imagine, middle school kids actually defending their fathers’ kitchen skills!

My father only cooked two things: steaks on the grill and, on Mother’s Day, breakfast (and Mom had to wash the dishes).

My last two columns have focused on rather dark aspects of masculinity: women’s fear of men and male violence against women. In the spirit of the recent Father’s Day, this column focuses on what men are doing right.

As women have expanded their role in society beyond the home and into the workplace, men are challenged to rethink what it means to be a man, a partner, and a father. Most men are making adjustments.

More men are participating in domestic activities, but the biggest change may be in parenting. A generation ago, few men were deeply involved in the raising of their children. When divorces occurred, children were often abandoned by their fathers. Today, many more men, married and divorced, are engaged in parenting and they are spending more time at it. While much has been made of “quality time” for non-custodial dads, experts are now saying that sloppy, hanging around, quantity time with the kids may be more important.

For all those men who cook for their families, take the kids to school, join the PTA, help with homework, shop for clothes, clean the house, spend time with the kids, and go camping and fishing with them, ACCOLADES! You deserve recognition for all you do.

For the younger men out there who are not yet fathers, don’t rob yourself of the intimacy that comes only from changing diapers, bathing, and dressing your babies. Get involved in their lives early, and stay involved. Never give up on them, listen to them, and focus on their strengths not their challenges. Someday, you may be the subject of an argument over whose dad does the best laundry.

Mark Sandel is an Associate Professor of Social Work in the College of Arts and Sciences at TWU. He welcomes comments or suggestions for future columns at msandel@twu.edu