Most of my columns have been about how to find someone special, how to make yourself happy, but what about those of us who have been dumped in a bad way? Come on, no one is immune to it. Until they make a vaccine for heartbreak, we use other controlled substances, such as alcohol. All of us have nestled up to our friend “Jack,” swearing off whomever it was that left track marks on our ego. You can sue someone who wrecks your car, but you can’t sue over a broken heart. How is that fair?

Considering our precious commodities in this constantly receding economy, isn’t our one truly prized possession our hearts? Some people give their’s freely, just throwing it out there and hoping someone catches it with care. Others tend to keep their heart closely guarded, and only share when someone has passed all tests and is deemed worthy.

For us “Single” fans out there, we have probably seen the new Sex And The City movie. As brilliant and true to the TV show as it was, how many of you could completely identify with Carrie and her feelings after the ‘dumptation’ of Mr. Big? We have all been there, we just didn’t have the money to run off to Mexico and properly bury the lost love. At that moment, it felt like justice should be served. There may not be a place in our jail system for repeat love offenders, but there has to be a place in the afterlife. At least it helps to think that way after you are burning the last of the love letters and mix tapes over the coals of the relationship.

Wouldn’t it be a truly great world if we could have a website devoted to these people? That way when one moves into your neighborhood, his/her name could be displayed beside their past offenses. Of course, we would be fair and use a rating system, perhaps stars. You just really wasn’t into the guy, one star. You changed the locks and drained her bank account, four stars.

As I have said before, until bar codes are applied to the foreheads of humans allowing us to take a scan of their past, all I can say is…slap some tape on that broken heart of yours and recycle, recycle, recycle. In the day of living amongst coronary criminals, green is the new red.