I couldn’t believe what I overheard as my son, Hayden, challenged his friend Susana.

“My Dad is better than your Dad.”

“Uh uh. My Dad can beat your Dad any day!”

“No way; my Dad can beat your Dad with one hand tied behind his back.”

I stepped closer, in disbelief over what sounded like an argument over which father could whip the other. And then I caught it:

“My Dad CAN SO cook better than your Dad.” They were debating the respective culinary talents of Jorge and me. It occurred to me that something has really changed about fatherhood since I was a child. Imagine, middle school kids actually defending their fathers’ kitchen skills!

My father only cooked two things: steaks on the grill and, on Mother’s Day, breakfast (and Mom had to wash the dishes).

My last two columns have focused on rather dark aspects of masculinity: women’s fear of men and male violence against women. In the spirit of the recent Father’s Day, this column focuses on what men are doing right.

As women have expanded their role in society beyond the home and into the workplace, men are challenged to rethink what it means to be a man, a partner, and a father. Most men are making adjustments.

More men are participating in domestic activities, but the biggest change may be in parenting. A generation ago, few men were deeply involved in the raising of their children. When divorces occurred, children were often abandoned by their fathers. Today, many more men, married and divorced, are engaged in parenting and they are spending more time at it. While much has been made of “quality time” for non-custodial dads, experts are now saying that sloppy, hanging around, quantity time with the kids may be more important.

For all those men who cook for their families, take the kids to school, join the PTA, help with homework, shop for clothes, clean the house, spend time with the kids, and go camping and fishing with them, ACCOLADES! You deserve recognition for all you do.

For the younger men out there who are not yet fathers, don’t rob yourself of the intimacy that comes only from changing diapers, bathing, and dressing your babies. Get involved in their lives early, and stay involved. Never give up on them, listen to them, and focus on their strengths not their challenges. Someday, you may be the subject of an argument over whose dad does the best laundry.

Mark Sandel is an Associate Professor of Social Work in the College of Arts and Sciences at TWU. He welcomes comments or suggestions for future columns at msandel@twu.edu

Many of my clients are either seeking help after being laid off or are fearful of losing their jobs. No matter what your current circumstance, you can either live in fear or live in faith. When you live in fear, you are paralyzed and consumed by negativity that depletes your energy and sabotages your efficiency. You become unable to make healthy decisions or to see solutions and opportunities.

• Keep a positive attitude. Have you ever noticed how we want to be around happy, upbeat people? If there are two candidates with the same experience and background, wouldn’t the employer want to hire the person with a positive attitude rather than a negative one? If a company has to lay someone off, the employee with a positive, “can do” attitude, who is working on solutions rather than complaining about problems, will stand out from the others.
• Stop complaining and worrying and take action. It is easier to change lanes if you are moving, so start taking action, even if it is one action step a day. While it is easy to complain, it does nothing for you, especially if you are complaining about something you can’t control. It just makes you feel down and depressed. Negative energy creates negative results and positive energy creates positive results. It also does not help you to worry. Around 90% of what we worry about never happens!
• Keep your mind focused on solutions instead of problems. In every market there are opportunities, but you’ve got to stop focusing on how bad things are in order to see the solutions. The unemployment statistics may be close to 8%, but turn that thought around. That means 92% of the population is still employed! If you are in a positive mindset, you will be able to see the opportunity, find a solution, and take action.

The Legends Academy, Denton’s newest tuition-free, public charter school is making final preparations to open its doors, to as many as 150 students eligible for classes in grades 6 – 10 for the 2009-2010 school year. The academy will expand the grade-levels served each subsequent year until it reaches its planned capacity of 500 students in grades K-12.

The Legends Academy, accredited by the State of Texas Education Agency, will focus on drop-out prevention strategies and programs, and has adopted a mission to provide a rigorous curriculum that prepares students for post-secondary education or training through the development of academic, leadership and interpersonal talents and skills. The Academy will implement a model that integrates behavioral health with academic and community supports that promote a safe school and healthy environment. The model provides individualized instruction for students who work and learn best outside of a traditional classroom setting.

Because The Legends Academy recognizes that the community must be a vital partner in a student’s education, it is seeking to develop partnerships with community businesses. Additionally, The Legends Academy Superintendent, Cassandra Berry emphasizes that the academy encourages parents to take active roles in all aspects of its educational programs.

Charter schools are open enrollment innovative public schools funded and accredited by the State of Texas. Their purpose is to deliver programs tailored to educational excellence and the needs of the communities they serve.

Are you interested in buying local, seasonal food directly from a farmer? You might want to consider membership in a CSA, or Community Supported Agriculture farm. It’s a way for families to connect to their food source and teach their children about agriculture. It also allows families to invest in a local producer by providing the capital for the small farmer to start the new crop and share the risks inherent to farming. This is the story of one such farm, Moss Gathers.

Moss Gathers is a small farm which has been Certified Naturally Grown (CNG) and is located just inside the Collin County line. CNG certification standards are based on the highest principles and ideals of organic farming. The farm was started in 2004 with 4 members and today supports nearly 30 families.

I first visited Carol’s farm, Moss Gathers in February of this year. It was a scheduled work day for some of her farm members interested in growing their food and putting their children’s hand in the earth also. Although our time was spent preparing the beds for this year’s planting, it was a time of discussion, eager anticipation and education.

Carol provides a variety of produce from June to October via biweekly pickups. Members commit to a growing season and share the risks associated with farming. Their farm membership, paid in advance of the season, provides the capital for the plants, seeds, mulch, farm improvements and other necessary items.

Farming, even on a small scale requires an incredible amount of time and labor. To use growing methods that improve the soil, insect and bird populations requires a never-ending education that comes only one season at a time. It takes a season to notice the effect s of the composting you did through the winter; it takes a season to determine which tomato varieties had the best production, or the best flavor; it takes time to network with other farmers and to incorporate all of that knowledge into your crop.

Carol is trying an heirloom potato for her members this year called Caribe’ (Ka-REE-bay ) which has a purple-blue skin color and crisp white flesh. As the potato plants grow, straw mulch is mounded around the emerging plants to increase the yield. The black-eyed peas, radishes, squash, cucumbers and Zelma’s Zesta heirloom beans are just now sprouting. The tomatoes are protected with repurposed plastic rings and planted close to the cilantro which attracts beneficial insects which help control the tomato hornworm. All of this is evidence of the trials and subsequent experience needed to grow different crops in the North Texas climate. You can reach Carol directly at mossgathers@gmail.com, or call for a tour at 972-837-5057.

You can find more information about CNG: www.NaturallyGrown.org
For more local farm info: www.SlowFoodUSA.org, www.LocalHarvest.org or www.EatGreenDFW.com. Most importantly, if you know of great farm in your community, email me at suenewhouse@yahoo.com.

From cookware and textiles to cars and houses, there is a broad range of colors for consumers to choose from. Color is what drives sales in the Home Furnishings and Fashion industries along with several other industries. If it is the right product but the wrong color the customer is less likely to buy therefore creating problems for the producer. So what will be the hot new colors for this Fall? Well, they are a mix of muted popular colors and classic neutrals mixed together to create a spicy combinations of earth tones. Here are a few colors to keep your eye out for this upcoming season:

• American Beauty: this flattering true red is neither harsh nor over-the-top.
• Rapture Rose: this color plays upon the vibrancy of last season’s fuschia but is toned down a little with soft pink.
• Burnt Sienna: more a pinkish, earthy orange, reminiscent of Mediterranean terracotta roof tiles. Warm and comforting, probably the most-fall like of all the shades.
• Majolica Blue: adding an exotic feel to the color group this cross between teal blue and navy complements oranges and purple hues perfectly.
• Purple Heart: sitting somewhere between true purple and lilac, this refined tone is soft and sensual.
• Warm Olive: a rich yellowy green, reminiscent of an olive in a martini, which, according to Pantone’s Fall 2009 report “makes all other colors come alive.”
• Honey Yellow: a warm and welcoming yellow with a hint of honeyed beige. A perfect partner to Burnt Sienna for a wintry feel.
• Crème Brûlée: needs no explanation for those who love its namesake, the delicious French desert. Providing one of fall’s classic neutrals, this paired down mix of gray and ivory beige looks good enough to eat!
  Nomad: another timeless neutral which falls between light gray and beige serves as an anchor for more robust colors
• Iron: represents the “new black” of the season. Neither a true gray nor brown it falls more in the category of a cross between slate and gunmetal. This serves as a grounding color for all other tones.

So whether it is clothing and accessories or home décor and kitchen appliances keep watch for these hot new colors coming this fall.

You probably know someone who has needed long-term care. Maybe you have witnessed a family member, friend or colleague struggle with the emotional and financial issues that can come with a long-term care experience. The truth is, no matter when the need arises, because of age, disability, or because of an unexpected illness or accident, long-term care can affect any age group, any social strata, and any geographic location. But what is it and how can you plan for it?

What is Long-Term Care?
Long-term care is help you may need due to a lengthy illness, an unexpected injury or accident, or a severe cognitive disorder such as Alzheimer’s disease. It’s assistance with the everyday tasks, or the activities of daily living (bathing, eating, dressing, toileting, transferring, and continence). Long-term care may be provided in a variety of locations, from nursing homes and assisted living facilities to adult day care centers and even your own home.

Who needs Long-Term Care?
Most of us strive to live active, healthy lives well into our later years, and indeed as a society, Americans are living longer than ever before. This extended longevity is one of the things that drives the growing need for long-term care – the longer we live, the better the odds that we may need long-term care services. It is predicted that in the year 2020, some 12 million older Americans are expected to need long-term care.

While the majority of long-term care services is provided for seniors, a surprising amount of long-term care services are provided to younger people. In fact, the U.S. Government Accountability Office estimates that 40% of the 13 million people receiving long-term care services are between ages 18 and 64 .

Who pays for Long-Term Care?
Long-term care can be expensive, financially and emotionally. An unexpected need for long-term care can have a significant impact on a family’s assets and lifestyle. Close to one-fourth of all nursing home costs are paid out-of pocket by individuals and their families .

Many people mistakenly believe that their health insurance will cover the cost of long-term care. Others believe that Medicare or Medicaid will cover long-term care expenses. While Medicare does provide health coverage for seniors, it is limited in the coverage it provides for long-term care. Medicaid will pay for the cost of long-term care, but you must qualify by meeting strict income and asset eligibility requirements.

Long-term care insurance could be a solution.
Long-term care insurance can be a very smart way to address the challenges from a long-term care need. Long-term care insurance can help pay for nursing home care, as well as, a variety of home and community based care services. Long-term care insurance may not be for everybody, so if you are considering a policy, read it carefully and be sure to work with an insurance agent who understands long-term care issues.

With long life comes long-term planning. Make a plan for you and your family today. For more information on long-term care insurance, please contact Cathy J. Brown Agent, New York Life Insurance Company at 940.634.2707.