Turn on any news program today, and it won’t take long to hear another heartbreaking story about cyberbullying and its tragic consequences.  With unrestrained access to texting, cell phones, and social networking sites, bullying is no longer limited to the playground or the school hallways.   While this alarming trend has increased in parents a fear of the cyber world, it is important to note that research shows that with proper information and execution, this cycle can be minimized. Equipped with information and a few simple tools, parents can prepare themselves for the role that technology plays in their child’s life, helping to curtail the growth of this detrimental epidemic and its harmful impact on their children.

Cyberbullying is defined by the Cyberbullying Research Center as “when someone repeatedly harasses, mistreats, or makes fun of another person online or while using cell phones or other electronic devices.”  In their February 2010 survey of 4000 students, ages 12 -18, the Research Center found that 20% of students report experiencing cyberbullying on a regular basis, with rumors and disparaging comments being the most commonly identified forms.  Even more disturbing, in a study on cyberbullying and suicide, researchers found that cyberbullying victims were twice as likely to attempt suicide as those individuals experiencing other forms of bullying.

Recent news reports describe one horrific story about Alexis Pilkington, 17, a West Islip soccer star, who committed suicide in March 2010 following vicious bullying on a popular social networking site, which continued after her death, adding to the grief her family and friends were experiencing.  Formspring.me, the site where the bullying took place, advertises to be a place where youth can “ask questions, give answers, and learn more about your friends.”  The danger with this site and many others is that these question and answer sessions can be done anonymously which creates a greater outlet for bullying as kids can make any statement without the risk of being identified.  Alexis’ death is a costly example of the role that cyberbullying plays in the lives of our youth.  It also exemplifies how wide open the door is for youth to communicate with complete insensitivity and without consequence.
While this epidemic seems to be spiraling out of control, there are a number of precautions that parents can take.  It is important to educate children on using the Internet and social networking sites.  Kids need a clear understanding that nothing posted on the Internet is truly “private.”  Teens must learn to appreciate and utilize discretion in posting pictures and comments.  It is important to help kids understand that comments made through email, text, or over the internet are not the same as in person communication and may be misunderstood.  Young people also need to understand that compromising pictures taken by friends can end up on the Internet or sent via text message.  These are opportunities for parents to discuss with and teach their children about the balance between desired community and privacy and about good communication skills.

Parents should be willing to discuss dangers with their kids, helping them understand that predators are on the Internet.  Discuss how to stay protected by avoiding strangers and personal discussions and never giving out personal information.  Implement safeguards, such as parental controls and filters and parental monitoring of texts and social networking sites.  Parents should engage in this process not as a time when they have to fight with their kids, but as an opportunity to show their loved ones they are fighting for them.

Education, awareness, and safe practices, both on the part of kids and teens and their parents, can provide peace of mind and safety for the entire family. Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google, put it best when he said, “The Internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn’t understand.”  It is important for parents to have their own understanding of the Internet and social technology, so that they can guide their kids in its proper use and place in life.  Parents must recognize that social networking and technology are a vital part of an adolescent’s world and should not be completely disregarded.  A few simple steps and open communication with teens will significantly decrease the risk of the dangers associated with today’s communication.

For more information visit the Cyberbullying Research Center at http://www.cyberbullying.us/index.php

Have you ever been left wandering where your teenager came from? As parents we can recall those adorable children we raised, the affectionate, attention craving individuals who wanted to be with us every moment, however once our children hit age thirteen it‘s like a switch is flipped in them and they become like aliens that we don’t understand and cant seem to relate to!

The good news is the teen -parent relationship doesn’t have to resemble a scene from a football game where 2 warring sides are battling for possession of the ball. When you understand that we’re not on separate teams competing against each other but on the same team with the same goal it makes all the difference. The teen- parent relationship can become the most productive and valuable relationship we have if we grasp the rules and play the game fairly!!

Rule 1:  Young people need their parents more than they could ever say or like to admit to

Though your teen pushes every boundary and never seems to listen to a word you say it is during this phase of their lives that teens need the consistency, unconditional love, support and boundaries you as a parent provide for them. The important rule of play here is to grasp that your teen is not looking for you to be their friend but is looking to you to listen to and encourage them to discover and develop their individuality.

Rule 2:  Communication is the key

Communication is probably the biggest hot spot between parents and teenagers. It often seems like we parents are not being heard and that there is no positive communication taking place. The problem for most parents and teens is that we only hear what we want to hear or take what is being communicated at face value! When was the last time you really listened to what your teen was saying?  Not just the words coming out of their mouths but what was behind their words and actions. What’s really making them frustrated or what are they really trying to achieve in the choices they’re making?  We as parents need to search underneath all the emotions and expressive behaviour to discover the real message our children are delivering to us. When your teen approaches you take time to really listen to what they are saying; try not to respond until you know all that they are asking or implying and when responding instead of telling them what you would do offer them options so as to empower them to make independent choices with your help. You will be amazed that using this approach will encourage your teen to become a more team focused player!
Rule 3:  Lead by example

When dealing with our emotion led teens it is essential we reign in our own emotions!  However much our teens push boundaries they learn and shape their reactions and responses in accordance with that they see in us parents. In order for our kids to grow healthy emotions they need to see them modelled by us. With the aim of enabling our teenager to have responsibility over their choices and behaviour we can encourage them to develop healthy emotions by warringnot lecturing them when they make mistakes, praising them when they make informed and positive choices and loving them through the tough times without comment.

Rule 4:  Encourage individuality

Finally…encourage and celebrate creativity and individuality within your teenager. It’s ok for your teen to have an opinion even if it differs from your own. Instead of telling them they’re wrong to think certain ways why not discuss with them the alternatives and help them to shape what they really believe.  The reality is that often teens really don’t believe what they’re saying they’re just trying to make an independent stand and to shock their parents. If they know and understand that their parents are a safe place where they can talk through situations they’ll keep coming back!

Jamie Stephenson is the founder and CEO of Take Off Coaching an organization committed to encouraging and motivating young people to reach their potential and to achieve their goals. Take Off provides life coaching, motivational speaking and leadership resources for teens and parents. www.takeoffcoaching.com

Here are some sound resolutions your kids can easily get started on:

•  I will wash my hands after going to the bathroom and before eating.

•  I will make my bed and keep my room organized

•  I will speak with respect to my parents, teachers and adult leaders

These very basic resolutions can be adapted (expanded or reduced) to all age groups. A New Year awaits, enjoy the results of your successes.

Are your kids constantly arguing and trying to be in control? Have you been searching for ways to get along with your kids? One of the keys is to provide consequences with empathy, which makes the consequences the “bad guy” and the parent the “good guy.” Who would not want to be “the good guy” with their kids?

Using genuine empathy with kids helps soak up emotions and puts the problem back on the child. The use of genuine empathy helps to maintain a positive child-parent relationship while allowing a child to learn from his or her mistakes. Good Love and Logic^® parents pick one statement they like and use it over and over again. For example, the parent might say, “I cannot imagine how bad that feels.”

Neutralizing childhood arguing begins by giving the child a big dose of empathy by saying, “I love you too much to argue.” As a parent, you continue to say this one statement and refuse to be pulled into a power struggle with a child who is drunk on control. A parent might also back that up by saying, “I will be happy to talk to you when your voice is as calm as mine.” This is an enforceable statement that encourages thinking rather than fighting.

The consequences that follow are usually natural and logical in nature and may involve a child paying back our time and energy they sucked away by arguing. For example, the child may need to spend time doing one of your chores.

Cumberland Presbyterian Children’s Home (CPCH) believes so strongly in the Love and Logic^® philosophy of behavior management that they train their staff with these techniques and they find they help them maintain positive relationships with the children and families they serve.

Becoming a Love and Logic Parent^® is a research-based parenting program that focuses on preserving a child’s self concept while teaching them to own and solve their own problems.

CPCH teaches Becoming a Love and Logic Parent® monthly to community members as well. Their next classes will be held on Jan. 9, 2010, concentrating on early childhood, and on Feb. 13, 2010, concentrating on children six and older. If you want to learn more about CPCH’s parenting classes or to register, 940-382-5112 x 252.

A loyal following, great customer service and unbeatable prices has been the key to our success. This is what our wonderful customers have to say about Small Fry:

“I have been shopping at Small Fry for over 32 years for my children, now my grandchildren. Their clothes are unique, good quality, and reasonably priced. Your child will receive many compliments!”   S.Wright, Denton

“I shop at Small Fry for their exceptional customer service, great prices, and large unique selection.”   N.Knabe, Flower Mound

We offer free 60-day layaway, special orders, boys preemie-7, and girls preemie-16. Let Nancy, Shelby, and Tammy help you outfit your Small Fry for the holidays!

Headquartered in Scottsdale, AZ, The Little Gym is considered the premier developer of motor skills in children worldwide.  The company uses curriculum-based gymnastics, movement and other programs to promote coordination, balance, rhythm and flexibility.  In addition, The Little Gym’s programs have a proven track record of enhancing children’s listening, social and intellectual skills.

“Our philosophy is to introduce kids to the world of fitness in a caring and non-competitive way,” said Jill Alverson, owner of the gym.  “Our students progress at their own pace, and rather than be the best, they are encouraged to try their best.”

Jill and Chris Alverson purchased The Little Gym of Denton in February of 2008.  Although the gym has been open since 2001, the new owners have renovated the facility, updated all of the equipment, and increased instructor training requirements.

“Programs at The Little Gym make skill building fun for students and parents alike.  Individualized attention builds the students’ confidence that lays the foundation for success in other areas of their life,” said Jill Alverson.

The Little Gym of Denton offers a variety of classes.  One such course enables parents to join their children in the exploration of basic motor and social-skill development, while another teaches students basic tumbling and apparatus techniques using positive motivation as a learning tool.

The Little Gym of Denton is enrolling now for Fall and Winter/Spring Semesters.  Great gift idea for Christmas!  Grandparents, buy your grandchild the gift of motor skill development, confidence and self esteem that will last their life time!  Gift certificates are available for purchase in any denomination.  For more information, please call 940-243-5437 or

Development and use of gross motor skills in children and adolescents is good for their overall well-being and health. However most people do not realize these skills also play an important role in a child’s academic success, their brain development, self-esteem, ability to participate in group events and in social skills. Gross motor skills involve the bigger muscle groups like arms, legs, feet and torso whereas fine motor skills involve smaller muscles such as hands, fingers and toes. All motor skills, both gross and fine motor require a connection between the brain and the muscles in your body. Generally gross motor skills develop sequentially and they need to be mastered before fine motor skills are mastered. Unfortunately, once a child has mastered locomotion (i.e., walking) and other general gross motor milestones it is all too common that the emphasis shifts to the development of fine motor skills. Both gross and fine motor skills are important and should be optimally developed. The development and enhancement of gross motor skills plays a significant role in a child’s academic success, positive self-esteem and confidence.

Good gross motor development has been found to be beneficial for academic success. Research has shown good eye-hand and eye-foot coordination skills can enhance the vision aspect of reading skills (Dequiros, 1979). Proper upper body support is critical for handwriting.

Gross motor activities also help increase the flow of glucose which is the brain’s chief source of energy. This activity helps develop normal connections during their critical years of child and adolescent development (Gabbard, 1993).

Both children and adolescents continue to develop increasing coordination and motor ability with proper instruction and guidance. This allows a child to gain greater physical strength and endurance. In addition, continued gross motor instruction and development will help foster better distance judgment, motor planning and hand-eye coordination which are beneficial for play and sports participation. All of this promotes greater self-confidence, and a willingness to attempt new challenges. Social inclusion is another positive attribute to good gross motor coordination. A child who is more confident engaging in activities and who has the gross motor skills to do so is frequently invited to participate in many fun group activities.

Awareness and development of good gross motor skills begins during infancy and the toddler years, however it should continue to be a focus throughout childhood and adolescence. Overall good gross motor coordination helps contribute to a child’s positive self-esteem, a desire to be active and healthy, academic success and overall confidence.

The Legends Academy, accredited by the State of Texas Education Agency, will focus on drop-out prevention strategies and programs, and has adopted a mission to provide a rigorous curriculum that prepares students for post-secondary education or training through the development of academic, leadership and interpersonal talents and skills. The Academy will implement a model that integrates behavioral health with academic and community supports that promote a safe school and healthy environment. The model provides individualized instruction for students who work and learn best outside of a traditional classroom setting.

Because The Legends Academy recognizes that the community must be a vital partner in a student’s education, it is seeking to develop partnerships with community businesses. Additionally, The Legends Academy Superintendent, Cassandra Berry emphasizes that the academy encourages parents to take active roles in all aspects of its educational programs.

Charter schools are open enrollment innovative public schools funded and accredited by the State of Texas. Their purpose is to deliver programs tailored to educational excellence and the needs of the communities they serve.