Thinking about the New Year, I was reminded of a disturbing statistic I once read. According to a study, only ten people cry at an average funeral – 10! It gets worse. Once those ten (or fewer) wipe away their tears, the number one factor in determining how many people would join the funeral procession to the graveside service is . . . the weather. The statistics show that if there is rain, 50% would go home and not attend the burial.

Those are depressing statistics, aren’t they? I mean, there’s a possibility that at the end of my life, only 10 people would cry at my service. And then there’s a fifty-fifty chance they might sneak out the back afterwards if the weather is bad.

None of us want that. We all want our lives to count for something. We want to make an impact in this world, to make a powerful statement with our lives, to leave our marks, to leave a legacy for future generations. It is a deep-seated need we all have as humans.

But it won’t just happen. You don’t accidentally make a difference in the world. Rather, to leave your mark takes directed effort. When Alice asked the Cheshire Cat, “Would you tell me please, which way I ought to go from here?” his reply was simply, “That depends a good deal on where you want to go.”

So where do you want to go in life? What kind of response would you like at your funeral? To get where you want to get in life, you need a vision for your life. The Bible says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” (Proverbs 29:18, KJV)

Of course, none of us have goggles that allow us to see into the future. If we did, we wouldn’t worry so much about the economy and the challenging times ahead. So what kind of vision is the Bible talking about? I think there are two aspects of vision we need. We need a “rearview mirror” vision as we grasp the ancient wisdom of God and his plans. The Bible says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Jeremiah 6:16, NIV)

We also need a “big picture” vision – the idea that God is in control and finding where we fit into his plans. King Solomon said: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

Give yourself to God and let Him give you a vision for your heart.

A New Normal by Dr. Jim and Christine Mann

After a sudden death in his family, Pastor Jim Mann found himself unprepared to handle the unfamiliar issue of grief. An idyllic childhood made grief an unfamiliar foe. Daily, he read the Bible, prayed, cried, and journaled his thoughts. This book is the result.

Grief will touch us all at some point and it comes in many forms, great and small: loss of loved ones, loss of a dream, a broken marriage, accidents and disasters – even the loss of a beloved pet or a move to a new town. When we experience loss, life changes and it will never be “normal” again…but God will lead you to a “new normal.” This honest and insightful month-long journal is intended to help the reader work through grief in a healthy, healing way. You can emerge from the process in a stronger relationship with God and prepared to “get on with life.”

You can order the book through www.newlifedenton.org, or at your favorite Christian bookstores.

Bibles for Babes is a division of McBride Ministries, Inc. Its mission is to bring the healing and loving message of Christ to orphans through brand new, age-appropriate children’s Bibles and provide relevant services. In addition, BFB creates awareness of America’s orphans in foster care and those available for adoption.

Jason McBride, founder of BFB says “Many of the children in the foster system come from abuse and neglect so we want to swiftly introduce them to the unconditional love of God to aid in their healing.”

Since the organization started in 2009 the demand for bibles has rapidly increased as the numbers of kids continue to pour into the foster system. Organizations such as Buckner International, Covenant Kids and Arrow Child &Family Ministries have worked with BFB since its inception.  Jason McBride, is a former member of The Power Team and Team Impact, Founder of The Lion’s Den Men’s Ministry, ordained pastor and professional speaker. Jason has an uncanny ability to capture and engage audiences with power, enthusiasm and deep meaning.

“Jason and Jennifer McBride have a huge heart for foster children,” said Jenny Pope, director of marketing and media relations for Buckner International. “The bibles they are collecting through BFB will help provide healing and hope to children in Texas who have been neglected and abused. We are so thankful for their support.”

“We feel that a child whose life has otherwise been turned upside down should have their own personal Bible to find comfort and solace and help guide them through the turmoil in their life,” said McBride.

The staff and volunteers of Bibles for Babes host and participate in educational meetings aimed at recruiting and informing prospective parents.  It is vitally important to us that we share the staggering statistics of the nearly 500,000 children in the U.S. foster care system as well as ways that we can address their needs.  Well over 100,000 of those in foster care are legally free for adoption.  Studies show that over 50% of Christians say they would consider adopting.  Most think it’s too expensive, however, through foster care parents can adopt for little or no cost at all.

BFB raises funds and purchases Bibles for the organizations as well as delivering to them and providing awareness for the foster adoption crisis. All funding is through individual donation and through Bible Drives.  Local businesses and organizations host Bible Drives which bring in patrons who donate to the Bible fund. Anyone can host a Bible Drive. Bibles For Babes will provide collection boxes and promotional posters for display at your facility.  You can determine the length of time you’d like to run the drive (i.e. one month, quarter, full year) and allow participants to drop off age-appropriate Bibles into the collection boxes. Once the drive is over, Bibles For Babes will count, document and collect the Bibles for distribution to the children.

For information, donations, or Bible Drives, please email contact@biblesforbabes.com.

A fresh notebook and box of crayons, packets of paper sealed in plastic, pristine folders unbruised by young hands carelessly stuffing wrinkled assignments in them, pencils with intact erasers, a fresh bottle of glue–these to me are some of the best memories of the start of school each year.

I always started school with high expectations–that I’d do all my homework ahead of time and never wait until the last minute to prepare for a test or a project and wouldn’t be so shy and stuck socially . . . you know the drill.

The need to make oneself over seems to be a constant theme in human life. That’s why extreme makeover shows of almost any kind draw big viewing audiences: we hold to the myth that we can, like the caterpillar, cocoon ourselves and then emerge so radically different that our previous lives disappear.

They don’t of course. Cleaned, redecorated houses fill with dirty clutter. Perfectly landscaped lawns grow weeds; plants die for lack of care. Weight quickly lost under extreme conditions comes back and muscles grow soft once more. Redone wardrobes and uncomfortable shoes are shoved aside for comfort and sloppy, relaxed attire. Notebooks fill with undone assignments, pencils dull, erasers disappear, and procrastination rises again.

Human nature.Yet that longing for the transformation exists because we are created and called to something higher than mundane and stuck repetitive lives.

We are so more than simply body with its physical drives and demands. The satisfaction of those drives brings only fleeting pleasures and then demand that we satisfy them again and again, raising the stakes higher, higher, higher often to the point of destruction as those pleasures become less easily achieved.

St. Augustine said, “Thou hast made us for Thyself O God, and the heart of man is restless until it finds its rest in Thee.” The restless heart that pushes human activity ultimately looks for God. We long for that place of wholeness and holiness. We so want to know and be known, to love and be loved, to have meaningful work that satisfies our souls. None of these longings can be fully reached outside a rich spiritual life.

The time is always “NOW” to begin or continue that journey to real spirituality. We begin by stopping. Stopping long enough to hear the longings of our souls. Stopping by refusing to deaden that internal voice that calls for something more, something transcendent, something eternal. Stopping the incessant external voices of discordant media that smash our souls with the push to consume, transgress moral boundaries, and ignore spiritual longings.

Let us find our rest in God and then go back to school with fresh supplies!

On July 4, 1776 the Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence.  The document said that the thirteen American colonies that were then at war with Great Britain were now independent states and thus no longer a part of the British Empire.  The document was written primarily by Thomas Jefferson and was eventually signed by fifty-six delegates including the most famous of those signers, John Hancock.  The men who signed that document did so at the risk of their own lives.  Although the document declared independence, there was still a great deal of blood shed before the United States of America was truly independent and no longer at war.

The most well known words of the declaration are found in the preamble: “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”  For most Americans the Declaration of Independence means one thing: FREEDOM.  In 1776 it was freedom from Great Britain. In 2011, it means freedom to live their lives, and raise their children in a safe environment, free from the tyranny of government or anyone else.  There are some today who would argue that some of that freedom has been taken away from Americans through government intrusion and other means; but no one would argue that in America we are free, especially when compared to other nations around our world.

We are blessed to live in a country that guarantees the right of all of its citizens to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.  That is certainly not the case in dozens of countries around the world.  As we celebrate the birthday of our country this July 4, 2011, we should be mindful of those who gave their lives so that we can have those freedoms here in America.  We should also support and pray for the brave men and women who continue to fight for and in some cases, give their lives so that we can continue to enjoy our Freedom here in America.

While our forefathers gave us great freedom here in America, the greatest freedom we have comes because of the sacrificial death of another man over 2000 years ago.  He came to this earth as a baby at a time of very little freedom.  The oppressive Roman Empire ruled the world at the time of his birth and all throughout his thirty-three years on this earth.  At the time the people wanted freedom from the oppression of the Romans but Jesus Christ didn’t bring freedom from governmental oppression. Instead he brought freedom from the oppression of sin.  Hebrews 10:14 says, “By his one sacrifice he has forever set free from sin the people he brings to God.”   While our freedom as Americans is wonderful, it pales in comparison to the freedom we have in Jesus.

Romans 3:23 says, “All have sinned and fall short of God’s glory.”  I have asked dozens of people through the years, “Have you ever sinned?”  Never once have I ever heard anyone say, “No.”  We all know we have sinned and we are in need of forgiveness.    Romans 6:23 tells us, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  The Bible is clear in saying there is a penalty for our sin.  But Romans 5:8 says “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”   Jesus died a horrible death on a cross so that we could experience the greatest freedom, the freedom from sin and death.

You can have that freedom this July 4th, through Jesus Christ.  If you want to know more about obtaining this freedom, e-mail me at the address below.  I hope you have a great July 4th celebrating the freedoms we enjoy as Americans.  But more than that I hope you experience the freedom that can only come through Jesus Christ.  It’s the greatest freedom of all!

My wife and I married in 1993, right in the middle of my senior year of college.  She was tired of living at home and I was tired of living without her so we decided to push ahead and begin our life together a few months early.  Eighteen years ago if you had told me I’d have 6 children and the journey through life I’ve taken, I would have said you were out of your mind.

We moved to this area in September of last year, bringing all the hope and excitement a new city and a new assignment can.  But months later when we still had not sold our other home, our patience wore thin.  I was beginning to wonder if God knew what our situation was.  How insane is that?  For we know that God’s understanding and His wisdom far outreaches our own. He has a plan, He knows what He’s doing and nothing that happens to us ever takes Him by surprise.

Our property in Houston finally sold and we began the quest to find the perfect home for our family.  I can remember on one occasion very early in our searching process, spending the entire day looking at houses only to come away disappointed and discouraged.  After all, finding a house big enough for our family at a price we could afford was a hard task. Add in the fact that we wanted some land to go with it?  We were looking for a needle in a hay stack.

That evening I sat down at my computer and watched the video to the song “Temporary Home”.  The truth hit me; I just spent all day long frustrating myself while looking for a temporary home.  This is just a place we’re passing through.  If we found the most beautiful home on the most beautiful piece of property it would be no more permanent than a breath or a vapor.  It’s temporary.  These things should not make me so anxious…but they do.

How do we balance the inescapable stresses of life with the intangible truth that it’s ‘all temporary’?  I’m not sure, because I haven’t figured it all out yet.  But I suspect that it doesn’t involve BALANCE at all but instead it is about the rhythm that life moves to. A friend of mine wrote a book called My Life in Rhythm* and it talks about life not in terms of finding balance, but finding that rhythm.

Basically what I allowed to happen in my mind was an omission of the central truth; this is not my permanent home.  I had to remind myself that the home I’m looking for doesn’t determine my eternal destination.  It doesn’t validate me as a father or husband and it doesn’t condemn me as a failure.  Home is with our heavenly father.  We’re just here for the scenery and to make much of Christ while we’re here.

*My Life In Rhythm by Bruce Miller, Senior Pastor of Christ Fellowship in McKinney

A basic truth of human nature: “Everybody is addicted to something.”  Daily, people resolve to beat their harmful addictions.  “Today, I will not overeat or drink to excess or restrain my shopping habits or control my temper and learn self-control.”

Yet, addictions remain.  Why? At their core, addictions offer a way to escape pain. We find activities, pleasures and behaviors that give us relief from ongoing hurtful challenges of internal and external conflict.  Spouses and friends betray us or misunderstand us. Employers do not appreciate us. Children and parents disappoint us regularly.  We disappoint ourselves.

The New Year tends to be a time when resolves are made to leave our addictions behind.  Of course, few hold on, and by Valentines Day, all good intentions have washed away in the river of pain and frustration that most swim in.

Unfortunately, the way Valentines Day is commonly observed simply makes the situation much, much worse.  I used to be the Singles Pastor at a large church in Dallas and it wasn’t long before I learned that Valentine’s Day was often the worst day of the year for many of them.

Why?  Because one of the most common personal and pain-filled issues that lead to addictive behavior is the one that says, “I cannot find myself lovable therefore someone else must fill that void in me.”

Frankly, I ache for the men in our midst as that fateful day approaches when we are supposed to celebrate romantic attachments, mainly because it is generally the responsibility of the male to shower tokens of affections on his beloved. It is a setup for failure. Unfortunately, there is essentially nothing another person can do that is enough to fill the internal void of a person who does not find herself or himself worthy of being loved.

This is why resolves to change external addictive behavioral patterns, such as drinking, over-eating, over spending and things like that, rarely work.  The real issue is not addressed. In surprising paradox, most of our pain arises from choosing to run from an honest expression of our true selves, not from the ways others treat us.

Every single human asks this one question:  can I be both fully known AND fully loved?  That question cannot be answered until we are ready to begin the journey into our own soul, discover who we really are, and decide if we are actually willing to love ourselves in healthy, life-giving ways.

I do not think it is possible to love ourselves healthily unless we find ourselves in a reconciled relationship with God.  We must recognize the goodness of God, and God’s willingness to give us that goodness coupled with powerful love.  We don’t earn it, but after receiving it, we are given the responsibility to grow into it.  This is real transformation that leads to freedom from addictions.

Give it a try in 2011.

Another “holiday” season is upon us.  I hope you are ready!  I have to admit I love this time of year.  My favorite six weeks of the year are the time from Thanksgiving to the first of the new year.  I love it all.  The decorations,  the food, the parties, the food, the friends and family, the FOOD!  OK you get the idea I like the food.  It really is the most wonderful time of the year.

But its pretty obvious that the original intent of these two “holidays” has been pushed to the side by many in our world today.  Let’s take Thanksgiving to begin with.  Wikipedia says “Thanksgiving is a harvest festival celebrated primarily in the United States and Canada.  Traditionally it is a time to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude in general.  While perhaps religious in origin, Thanksgiving is now primarily identified as a secular holiday.”  It’s true the fourth Thursday in November has become a day, for most, to eat turkey and watch the Dallas Cowboys.

But originally it was a day to give thanks to God for his goodness and grace.  No matter what you have experienced in 2010, hardships or blessings there is something you can be thankful for this Thanksgiving. The Psalmist said, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.”  This Thanksgiving as you watch the Cowboys and eat your turkey and spend time with family and friends be sure to give thanks to God for the good things he has done in your life and even for the hardships because it’s the hard times in life that make the good times so enjoyable.

Of course the other “holiday” we celebrate this time of year is CHRISTMAS!  Over the past few years Christmas has taken an even bigger hit than Thanksgiving.  Many retailers no longer have Christmas items they have “holiday” items.  People now put up “holiday” trees in their homes and have “holiday” parties.  Many want the term Christmas taken out of the language all together.

But the fact remains that Christmas is all about the birth of the savior of the world.  If Jesus of Nazareth had not been born as a baby in Bethlehem we would not exchange gifts and decorate our homes and do all the other things we do this time of year.  I know that many of our Christmas traditions are not Biblical in nature but instead come from other areas but the fact still remains Christmas is all about Jesus Christ and his birth.

The greatest thing about Christmas is that the baby born 2000 plus years ago grew to be a man and to die on a cross for your sins and mine and today He wants to have a relationship with you.  He wants to be your friend, your savior and the leader of your life and all you have to do is allow Him to be all of that for you!

Don’t let the world crowd out the real meaning and celebration of Thanksgiving and Christmas for you and your family.  Give thanks for all that God has done for you and for the baby born that first Christmas!  Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas to you and yours!

As July gave way to August this past summer, misery ruled.  Searing days, sagging plants, dripping people, closed doors. It always is that way, yet seems to flatten us more each year.

Smell the air now. It’s different. We might even ponder the possibility of sweaters and open windows.  Such a paradox!  As nature prepares to sleep for winter, people here in the Denton area wake from our summer hibernation, stretch our limbs, step outside and find new life.

New life, new schools, new friends, new routines.  And an ancient, unchanging God?  I wonder sometimes if we have such trouble connecting with God because we think there is no change in God’s mind.  We see it as static, unmoving, even removed from these cycles.

But why would God be changeless when everything in the world we know never stays the same?  Sit perfectly still for one minute.  Feel your heart beat.  Count your breaths.  Notice where your hands and feet rest.  Check that tenseness in your shoulder muscles.  Hear the silence, which itself is full of sounds.

In that one minute, everything changed.  Cells died, others were born. Blood moved, digestion progressed.  The earth rotated; newborn babies tasted air for the first time; the aged breathed their very last. Lovers kissed, children played, food was savored.  Fights broke out, someone starved, and another was murdered. The unethical cheated; the honest mourned. Tides progressed, water evaporated, electrical storms exploded with energy, rivers ran, rain fell, and new stars were born.

All in this minute of silence.  Not one thing stayed the same.

God holds this ever-changing world in a mysterious way you and I cannot see or understand.  But it happens, and it is part of the nature of God to celebrate change, to create the movements of seasons and the cycle of life and death, to rejoice at the hope of reconciliation and to know sorrow at hateful separation.

This God, unchanging in power and love, but celebrating the change in the created world, whispers to us in our silence.  “Be still, my restless one.  Be still; know that I am God.  Fear not, for I am with you.  I will not leave you.  An uncertain, ever-changing world finds its stability in Me.  Come, find your own center here.  I am your rock, your hiding place.  Take shelter under My wings.”

New life: found in the changeless and ever changing God.  It waits for you to awake, taste it, and make it your own.

Summer is in full swing and, if your home is anything like ours, you’re busier than ever.  The end of the school year didn’t quite slow the pace of life like you hoped.  Now, with the kids at home, there are more places to go and things to do.

But summertime can be a great time to re-acquaint yourself with you kids – between trips to the library and pool, summer camps and sleepovers.  Truth is, our children grow up so quickly that we’ll one day look back and wish we’d made more of those lazy summer days with our kids.  As my last child leaves elementary school and my oldest enters high school, these are things my wife and I have been pondering of late.

Fortunately, we’ve developed a strong family identity in our home.  I think that a family identity is a vital part of developing a child’s self identity.  Knowing the family’s character and shared beliefs, values, and even traditions gives kids a great platform from which they can discover their place in this world.  Studies show that kids who identify with their family’s values tend to get in less trouble, tend to be less promiscuous, and face less risk of drug and alcohol abuse.

But how to build a strong family identity?  Moses tells us when he says: “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates (Deuteronomy 6:6-9, NIV).”

Your presence matters.  Moses assumes that parents will “impress” values on children because they are spending time together.  Kids see your presence as a sign of care and connectedness.  Studies show that kids in families who eat dinner together perform better in school and exhibit less negative behavior.  But when life gets too busy, we’ll often dredge up the age-old excuse that, though we don’t have quantity time together, we make it quality time.  Maybe your kids are smarter than mine, but my children don’t seem to recognize the difference.

Talk about faith.  Some of us are challenged by the idea of talking about spiritual things.  But God cares about your family and discussing Him can help build a family identity.  It will also help your children develop the strong convictions they will need as they grow.  Pray together.  Go to church together.  Read the Bible together.  Even exposing your children to God’s truth in small amounts will set them down the right path for the future.

Kids need reminders.  Moses’ description of Scriptures tied to wrists and written on doorposts is simply describing reminders…reminders why we do this, reminders why we don’t do that.  Hopefully, we don’t just give rules but also some of the reasons behind the actions we desire so they can one day make their own wise choices.

Jesus said: “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock (Matthew 7:24-25, NIV).”

This summer, take the time to help build that strong foundation your kids will need for the storms in life.

Anna Marie Jarvis, following the death of her mother on May 9, 1905 established what we know today as Mothers’ Day.  On May 8, 1914 the U.S. Congress passed a law designating the second Sunday of May as Mother’s Day.  Since that time every May we honor our mothers.  I know at my house it is THE most important day of the year!  Mothers are more than special.  When was the last time you saw a pro athlete on television say “Hi Dad!”  It’s always “Hi Mom!”  We tend to hang on people’s last words.  I’m told that soldiers on the battlefield who have been wounded and are about to die, the most frequent last word is “Mother.”  The bond we have with our mothers lasts for a lifetime and therefore we are quick to honor and show love for our mothers.

God Himself pays tribute to mothers.  As Jesus hung on the cross he asked his best friend John to take care of his mother Mary.  The Bible says John did so from that day forward.  The Bible also pays tribute to Mothers in Proverbs 31.  It is there we find the attributes of the “Ideal Mother.”

She Works Hard for Her Family – “She gets us while it is still dark and provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.” Proverbs 31:15.  How many times do we hear of the sacrifice and hard work of mothers?  Doing whatever it takes to provide for the needs of their family.  I remember my own mother always putting me and my sibling’s needs before her own.

She is Concerned with the Needs of Others – “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” Proverbs 31:20.  The ideal mother not only cares for her own family but also looks out for the neighborhood kids as well.  If there is a child in need she is there with open arms to bandage a wound or feed a hungry mouth.

She Pours Wisdom Into Her Children – “She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”  Proverbs 31:26.  We all remember words of wisdom our mother’s pounded into our brains over and over again.  It’s a mother’s wise words that can keep us out of trouble and on the right path in life.

She is Blessed by Her Family – “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Proverbs 31: 28-29.  The ideal mother is honored by her family.  One of God’s top ten commands tells us to “honor father and mother.”  When we are young that means we obey when we are adults that means we respect.  The ideal mother is always honored and blessed by her family.

Some might argue there is no such thing as the “ideal mother.”  My response would be, “you haven’t met my mother!”  Be sure to honor your mother on May 9, 2010!