This year I will give thanks.

As this Thanksgiving holiday approaches, I have given some thought to what it means to me this year to be thankful.  I have had my fair share of bad this year and for the past few years.  I have spent some of that time feeling sorry for myself, my family and friends that have been affected.

There has been loss of loved ones, illnesses, worn and broken body parts, job loss, no jobs found, lawns and pastures that are burned from lack of rain, and retirement losses in the market that defy me to even look at the statements.

All that and I choose to be thankful.

We have kept our head above the water (possibly only because the water line has gone down).  There is still food on the table with an occasional night of eating out.  The kids have warms coats for winter and we have fuel in the car.  We have weathered the recession storm, so far, and we are still on our feet.

We have chosen to scale back on everything rather than cutting out anything in particular, and that seems to be a good compromise for our family.

We will donate from our abundance this year, though our abundance seems a lot less abundant.  We will give thanks that we have something to give. In contrast to our past, we will give a little bit of us.  There are so many charity options throughout Denton county that need helping hands, and we believe we will find ourselves more thankful once we give a bit of our time and when we see the depth of others who are doing without far more than we.

As I grow older I have definitely found that my thankfulness is not wrapped in a package under the tree, or tied with a bright red bow.  The bank account is important, no discounting that, but I am thankful for way past what I have, to what we have together as a family.  Life tenure will make you think deeper to those kinds of things.

Finding your thankfulness may be the best gift you can give youself and your family this season.

This year I will give thanks.

Release the Past with Love and Let it Go

“To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.” – Confucius

I recently met a woman who was very unhappy and in a lot of emotional pain.  She began to tell me the story of an injustice that was done to her and how it changed her life.  After listening to her story, I asked her when this happened, thinking by her behavior it had happened recently. To my surprise, she told me it happened 23 years ago and it was as fresh for her as though it happened yesterday. She had a very strong attachment to the anger and was not ready to let it go.

The myth is that time heals all wounds. While time does heal, we must do the healing. It is an action process. The first step is to understand it is up to you to heal and to release the past and then choose to do it.

To let go of the past:
1.  Stop thinking about it.
2.  Stop talking about it.
3.  Stop reliving the negative experience.
4.  Start telling a new story of hope and optimism.

Letting go of anger and resentment can be life changing and forgiving others is a great way to achieve inner peace.  Forgiveness is not about condoning the actions that caused your hurt; it is about releasing the negative emotional energy and moving on. It is a gift you give yourself. Negative energy weakens you and positive energy strengthens you.

Forgive yourself. Sometimes that can be more difficult than forgiving others, but it is essential for your well being. Let go of guilt. It is a wasted emotion and serves no purpose for anyone, especially you. Let it go.

Affirmations are a very powerful way to release the past and to create your ideal life.  You attract what you think about so think positive, affirming thoughts. Here are some of my favorite affirmations:
• I forgive anyone who has ever hurt me, willingly or unwillingly.
• I choose to let go of any resentment, anger, and hurt.
• I release the past with love and let it go.

As the founder and president of Allen Coaching & Training (ACT), I specialize in personal and professional development for individuals and organizations, taking them to the next level in improved performance. My goal is to empower others through workshops, seminars, corporate training, and coaching.

Reduce waste, save money, be on time. These are the three Christmas wishes for anyone who needs to send packages this holiday season.

Reduce waste and save a little money by reusing old packaging when you can.  Bubble wrap and packing peanuts are one of the easiest reused items we get.   If you don’t have either, but you do have a paper shredder, you can shred and recycle old newspaper, catalog pages, or paper bags, and use these items as packing insulation. Securing the item in the box will keep the gift snug and safe from breakage.

Reusing boxes you received shipments in is, as they say, a no-brainer. They will save you the time of shopping for new ones, plus they will save you the irritation of trying to dismantle and cram them into your already bulging trash bags.   If these boxes have too much print on them to be covered up for reuse, simply open the bottom, cut the box along one side and turn it inside out, then tape along the open side and bottom.

If you had to buy all these items it would get costly so you will be doing a bit to save the planet and your pocketbook by using a few green options like these.

The boxes must be secured with shipping tape (masking tape, gift tape, twine and glue should not be used on the shipping box).   Make sure your package is strong and taped properly to assure that the gift delight will reach the other end intact and still in the box.

Prepare the outside of the box with extra care.  Print the “to” and “from” address very clear and complete, and make sure to include apartment and suite numbers.  Never guess on the zip code.  Take the time to find and include the correct code. A wrong zip code is worse than no zip code on your package. Look up codes quickly and easily at usps.com.

Be early and get the packages there on time.  The season is tremendously busy for shipping carriers, so plan to purchase the gifts that have to be shipped first and get them on their way.

Suggested Mailing dates supplied by The US Postal Service:

•  Parcel Post Mail by the 15th of December        •  Priority Mail by the 21st of December
•  First Class Mail by the 20th of December        •  Express Mail by the 22st of December
•  International Delivery varies and some areas require shipping as early as December 2nd, so mail those packages going International
as early as possible

The name sounds a bit ominous doesn’t it, but Black Friday is a good thing.  Well, we hope it is, and come to think of it I guess even Black Friday is in the eye of the beholder.

If you like waking up in the middle of the night to rush to stores to fight for the noted specials, if you enjoy bouncing from one major box store to the next in rapid succession, or if you get excited about choosing which line to stand in, then this day is just right for you. The specials will be out there.  Advertisers have been working and planning for weeks upon weeks to make sure you will have an abundance of options to lure you into their stores.  Bargains will be fabulous and your choices will be hard ones to make.

Black Friday has become a tradition in itself for so many families and friends.  Getting together for the sleep deprived early morning trek has made some pretty great memories for us.   And when you add on the toppings of a few great gifts that will be opened Christmas morning, then yes, it is all worth the half closed, scratchy eyed day.

In the days approaching, we are like little kids grabbing for the ads in the local paper to see who has what on sale and the time the item goes on special.  If you are new to the Black Friday early morning sprint don’t try this without some kind of master plan.  If you do, you will find yourself in a frenzy, running from place to place and just missing the perfect items for your Christmas list.  There is only one of you and you have to make the best of the time and develop a game plan for getting that special gift. Once the turkey is carved, eaten, and everyone is drifting off in their food induced comas, this is the time to peruse the ads and develop a plan of attack.

One more note, this day is not for the faint of heart. If you are daydreaming about  getting your significant other to accompany you so you can turn a double play…we wish you best of luck.  This plea has been whimpered in the past by many hopeful Christmas List Moms, with not much success.  He distantly mutters something about way too early, too much hassle and not worth the effort.  So you are more than likely on your own, as will be the sisters, moms and friends who are meeting you that morning ready to grab their own delightful bounty.  Be brave, be focused and plan for a nap when you drag back home that day.

The most wonderful time of the year also happens to be the most stressful time of the year.  Planning ahead, being realistic and cutting back can help turn your exhaustion into enjoyment.

1. Avoid over-committing. Parties, luncheons, recitals, plays, making that special costume for Suzie Q, baking cupcakes for the entire 4th grade, shopping or attending twenty different neighborhood cookie swaps can leave you completely wiped out.  You don’t have to attend every function on the calendar or say yes to every request.  Instead, schedule some downtime to rest and recharge.  If you do sign up to oversee whatever, recruit and delegate.  Everyone’s busy this time of year and there’s no reason that other’s can’t share in the workload as well.

2. Avoid over-spending. Budget, budget, budget – set one and stick to it.  Depleting your checking account or racking up the charges on your credit card will only add to your list of worries, especially when the bill comes due at the end of the month.  Simple gifts with a personal touch are more endearing.  One of my favorites to give is a picture frame displaying a popular verse, saying or quote.  It’s inexpensive and easy to make.  You can even decorate the frame with a colorful bow or bedazzle it with a few embellishments.  The sentiment is far more sincere and more than likely won’t end up in next year’s community yard sale.

3. Avoid over-eating. Too much of a good thing is not always good.  Overindulging on sweets, drinks and other high caloric foods during the holidays will only add to your waistline and leave you feeling guilty, and who needs that.  Balance with smart dietary choices, plus a few laps around the block, will help booster your energy level and make for a healthier holiday.  A yummy desert that I like to indulge in is a tasty fruit and granola parfait.  I use one package of reduced fat cream cheese, one can of reduced fat sweetened milk, granola cereal, a can of reduced calorie fruit and pie topping, artificial baking sweetener and reduced fat or sugar free whip cream topping.  Mix the cream cheese with the sweetened milk, along with ¾ cup of artificial sweetener, until smooth.  Layer the bottom of a parfait bowl with the fruit topping (your choice, I prefer cherry).  Pour the creamy mixture on top and refrigerate.  When you’re ready to serve, add the granola and top off with the whip cream.  It’s not only delicious and lower in fat and calories compared to other conventional deserts, but it’s sure to satisfy your sweet tooth too.

4. Avoid over-doing-it. Cut back on the baking and decorations for starters.  Entertain less and limit your shopping list.  Simplify and save your sanity.  Every square inch of your house doesn’t have to blink for the air planes flying above to see.  Plus you’ll be saving energy and your next month’s light bill won’t resemble your mortgage payment.  If it’s tradition to set out the nativity, along with a few other items, then by all means set them out.  But all the knick knacks, figurines, wreaths and ribbons can stay in the attic.  You’ll have less clutter to dust and less to pack and clean up when the holidays come to an end.

This should be the most wonderful time of the year and by making a few adjustments, setting some boundaries, and placing limits on your obligations you and your family might possibly have the best holiday season ever.  Happy Holidays!

Ahh, September…As this is written, it is still in the 100’s, and one can only hope that by press time the temperatures are less Hades-like.

Speaking of Hades, soon it will be October, and that means Halloween! Every fall, articles are trotted out on the old Pagan vs. Christian debate, including lots of false information about the true origins of Halloween. One of the statements that gets repeated so often that it is mistaken for truth is that its base is the ancient “Druid/Celtic festival of Samhain.” But it turns out that the roots of Halloween are in Catholicism and a coincidental date selection, and that its origins lie more with St. Patrick’s peeps than with Druids.

Samhain is a Gaelic word meaning the end of summer, and any festivals associated with it are specifically Irish in origin. In ancient Ireland, chieftains and warriors would gather at an assembly, and over seven days at summer’s end there would be meetings, games, entertainments, and feasting. One thing Samhain has in common with modern Halloween celebrations is the idea that the days around late October or early November are a good time for a party.

Centuries later, cue the Catholics: By that time, the Roman Church recognized so many martyred saints that there weren’t enough days in the year to commemorate them all, and the church began celebrating an All Saints Day to remember all the left-over saints that didn’t already have their own day. In the 11th century, All Soul’s Day was established to pray for all the dead souls, and added to All Saints (or Hallows, an archaic English word for saint) to make a two-day festival, which began on All Hallow’s Eve, October 31st. Evidence suggests that the Irish church changed the date of All Saints/All Souls to conform to the standard European date, which just happened to fall on the date of an ancient Irish festival.

Medieval Catholics believed that those who died somewhat sin-laden, but not so sinful as to be damned to Hell, would go to wait in Purgatory. Their living friends and relatives could help to get them into Heaven by collecting alms and doing good Christian deeds on their behalf. All Saints/All Souls was dedicated to this sort of activity. By the 14th century, a custom called “souling” had developed where the poor would go from house to house asking for soul-cakes, which morphed into today’s Trick-or-Treating. Customs attached to other celebrations were adopted as features of Halloween. Guising, the practice of wearing fancy dress or disguise, had been part of Christmas and New Year’s Eve customs in Britain and other parts of Europe since medieval times. By the 19th century, the practice was a feature of Halloween in Scotland and Ireland.

The 16th century Protestant Reformation drove these rituals underground, but could not stop people from being concerned for the fate of their dead relatives, and attaching their own customs to the holidays. It is not surprising that associations with the occult or demonic came about, given the strong link to the dead and the strong disapproval of the Church of England. The spookier aspects of Halloween were probably influenced by the time of year at which it occurs. Shorter days, colder nights, and dying vegetation provide a good atmosphere for tales of terror.

Since the origins of Halloween can be explained by research into Catholic All Souls Day and its Protestant prohibition, why do so many books and articles claim ancient pagan roots for the modern holiday? The answer is simple: In the popular imagination, Druids are a lot more interesting than Catholics! Have a safe and splendid Samhain!

Thanks to the “Heretical History of Halloween”, by A. Hunt-Anschütz