Yeah, There’s an App for That

iPhone-toting love seekers now have the power of dating at their finger tips.  Available at the App Store are new downloads to help find a date, check a date, or just get out of a bad date.

Date Check
It’s Friday night in Denton and a Kenneth Cole suit just slipped you his digits. You can instantly find out if he’s the real deal by running a background check.  With only a name, phone number, or email address, Date Check scours public records – from Facebook to homeowner filings and sex-offender databases – to confirm that your happy hour partner is not wanted in three states.  Now, you can cyberstalk someone while you sit right beside him.

Skout
Input your location and a basic profile, and this easy app locates other singles in your vicinity from among 450,000 users.  You can chat with a prospect before deciding to meet.  Your location is given as a distance down to a tenth of a mile (not a map), so it’s still a little like Where’s Waldo, without locking a GPS signal on your forehead.

Fake Calls
This is the most brilliant app for dating I must say.  So you find her, you ran a background check and she even passed for meeting your Mom.  But what if she turns out to be a bore on your date?  Ready your escape plan beforehand by using Fake Calls.  Simply set a time for your phone to ring and from whom the “call” will come, for instance your Aunt Joan.  Then midway through the date, when your phone rings, and it shows Aunt Joan calling, you fake exasperation at the news of her labrador escaping yet again.  Or, if things are actually going really well on the date, simply ignore the call.

On A Date
Tired of bringing your date to the same restaurant and movie?  Are you known as the “Applebee’s/Insert Rom-Com Movie Here” Guy?  No fear, On A Date offers 250 concepts for the idea-challenged dater.   Now even you can look like you planned for weeks, instead of what you’re really doing, which is downloading the app right now.

Hello 2010!  It’s the start of a new year, and the continuation of the Hallmark-sponsored holiday season, so let’s discuss one of my favorite
holidays – Super Bowl Sunday!  Before I get started, I must express at least one big “WHO DAT!” to the New Orleans Nation.  Ok, now that it’s out of my system, I can continue on with the festivities.

For those of you who say “I don’t like football,”  well I say it’s because you don’t know football.  For some, the most exciting thing about Super Bowl Sunday is the commercials, and although highly entertaining, there are other facets of this great occasion that warrant attention.  First off, the Super Bowl is a great time to throw a party.  For the ladies, this could potentially mean a large group of single guys gathering at your place.  For the dudes, this could be the opportunity to eat some decent food at a football party instead of last night’s cold pizza and the stale bag of tortilla chips left over from Cinco de Mayo…of last year.

Ladies, this is not the time to break out the cucumber and dill finger sandwiches you think are cute.  Messy wings, two alarm chili, a dip concoction involving beef and tons of cheese, and the appropriate selection of brews are quality servings.  Dudes, go the extra mile and pick up a bag of chips to bring along with your grande suitcase of Shiner.

Before the party starts, let’s learn a few things about America’s game, which can easily be compared to dating (shown in italics).  The object of the game is to move the ball down the field in order to score points (the same as going on many dates to finally find a “good” one).  Just how that is accomplished is not so easy.  The offense is given four tries to advance the ball at least ten yards, from the original line of scrimmage, while the defense attempts to intercept the ball, tackle the receiver, or knock the carrier out of bounds  (you’re making an attempt to get to know someone, while exes from your/their past keep showing up, annoying habits get in the way, or the person is just a jerk ).

The third down is very important.  If the third down is successful, the offense gets the necessary yardage to complete the full ten yards and they start over.  Four more tries to get ten more yards (It’s all about chances. Let’s say the date went great, well let’s go out again ).  But, if after the third down the offense has not been able to advance ten yards, it is the fourth down and they have three options:

1. They can go for the fourth down (you don’t know if you’re really into this person, but you’ll go out one more time ).

2. If they are in field goal range, they can go for three points (this might not be the right one for you, but they have great potential ).

3. They can punt  (pretty much you have given up).

If the players go for it and make it, it’s first and ten!  That’s known as a fourth down conversion. They’ve just “converted” that fourth down into another first down  (you gave it a chance and relationship is going great).

Now we’re near the goal line (your goal was to find a really cool person to date).  The quarterback drops back, giving him room to throw into the endzone to his intended receiver (you get up the nerve to ask them to date exclusively).  The receiver makes the catch and your team just scored 6 points (they feel the same about you!).

As you can see, a football game is just like dating.  Sometimes you make a pass and your intended receiver is right there or even a tight end picks it up.  Sometimes it’s missed.  But always remember, you are a free agent…and if you don’t like playing the field, you can always change the game.

Write to single@dentonlifestyles.com

Before I begin my typical rant, I need to give a shout out to some of the new places that opened in Denton. Your typical movie night has gotten better at Unicorn Lake. Across from Cinemark, there is the new location of Beth Marie’s Ice Cream. This could hurt a single gal’s diet, but isn’t it so worth it? I think Beth could dedicate a new flavor, since I personally started my own frequent buyer’s club. How about the “Sweet Single Supreme?” Just add tons of fudge and the gratuitous cherry on top. Cafe DuLuxe opened across the street and is the perfect spot for Denton singles before and after the movie. No longer do you need to drive to hip Dallas art bars, when you can get a great glass of wine and amazing appetizers, all in a mood-lit eclectic package that beckons great conversation and intimate gatherings. And ladies, you really have to check out the bathroom – exquisite!

Now on to another fixation….Facebook. What a fantastic way to keep up with friends and family. Now, I have seen more albums of vacations and babies than I almost care to talk about, but I also have been able to re-connect with many lost friends and family members. It’s a regular class reunion minus the photo montages set to bad flashback tunes and silly name tags with your senior picture. And get this, if someone from your previous life asks to “friend” you – you can just say no. There have been a few people I went to school with that asked to “friend” me. I thought about it, and wrote back “I wasn’t your friend in the real world, so I doubt seriously we will be close in cyber world either.” That did feel good. I was being rightfully selective, and yet a little revengeful at the same time.

I recently read an article about the dying art of communication. Well, haven’t we just reverted back to the beginnings of primitive wall writings? In this age, Facebook is our island of Philae, the home page is the temple wall, and we are free to create hieroglyphics until the wee hours of the morning. Just like the Egyptians before us, we can read what everyone else is doing in their day to day life, as well as leave a little note to mark our passing through. Yes, some people use this outlet to announce every feeling they are having at every moment of their mundane existence, but there are still some benefits to keeping the art of communication alive and well. I bet somewhere in Egypt, on a wall in a blessed temple, there is scripted: “Is it Friday yet?”

Write to single@dentonlifestyles.com and follow on Twitter.com/ DentonSingleGal

I like Beyoncé as much as the next person. Her latest hit, “Put A Ring On It”, has bothered me. I really like the beat, you can dance to it, and I give it a ten (for those of you who actually remember American Bandstand), but the lyrics are another story. How did we go from the bra-burning 60’s, to the power struggle 80’s for equal income, right back to circa 1950 wanting to be June Cleaver in the kitchen with a ‘ring’ on it? Is that what the women’s movement has been about – slap an apron on and give me a mixer, just as long as I have a diamond to show?

All the single ladies (as the song goes) listen up. You are not defined by the clothes you wear, the purse you carry, nor the ring on your finger and the person who placed it there. This is not a prize you get after the 5k Single Race of the Fittest. There’s no finish line.

So many women lace up and jump on track to find the perfect man, mate, future father of their beautiful unborn children, never once slowing the pace down and actually enjoying the run itself. Then once they do find that special someone, and make the matrimonial commitment, their mere existence seems to fall aside. “No, we can’t join you for dinner, Joe is out of town on business.” “We would love to attend your party, but Joe is under the weather.” Well, Joe is the one who’s sick sweetheart – reach in your closet and grab a fun outfit and while you’re in there, look for the personality you lost, go out and have a good time.

Now, I’m not saying I do not believe in marriage. I honestly do, and think it’s one of life’s most fascinating, spiritual, and emotionally connected unions. Humans are naturally pack animals. We have the drive to find a mate to walk beside us, share our meals, and groom each other in private. Just don’t lose who ‘you’ are in the process. I feel that if enough people clearly defined themselves before walking down the aisle, we would have a lower divorce rate.

“Put a Ring on It”. The only time I will be saying that line is while I’m standing across the counter at Tiffany’s, looking deeply into the eyes of a polished, dark suited salesman named Geoff. Pass the little blue bag dude…I’ll take care of putting it on.

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Spring is in the air! Don’t you just love this time of year when the flowers are in bloom, birds are everywhere, and the weather is a little more stable? Puts a little pep in your step. Makes you love being single!

For our single-challenged married friends and readers, let me give you a peek into the mystical world of singledom for a better understanding of it’s elusive charm, and the joy of living alone. First stop, the American Idol shower competition. There is nothing that gets the day started better than stepping up to the shower head mic and belting out the chorus to “Mamma Mia.” My canine companion especially likes it when I do the Abba re-mix performance and throw in a little “Dancing Queen.”

Off to work – didn’t do the dishes? Unless Helga the Cleaning Fairy arrives, more than likely those dishes will still be there patiently waiting for you to return and give them proper attention.

Drinks with the co-workers at five o’clock? Sure! Need to call anyone for a kitchen pass…umm no! Enough said.

Back home in the evening, and cleaning the dishes from dinner, oh and the ones that Helga missed from breakfast, and…wait! Is that Dancing With The Stars coming on? Oh yes it is, and my ceiling fan has just turned into a disco ball! Dishes can wait, I must learn to successfully perform the fox trot in case I am chosen at random to showcase my superior skills in a prize winning competition. Canine companion makes an excellent partner!

Bedtime. This is the most beautiful, need I say, most purest of joys one can truly experience when single. That is…the middle of the bed. Yes, it is true. Single people get to sleep smack dab in the middle of their own beds, with all the pillows and covers surrounding them as if to make a great wall in order to ward off all bad spirits from the day, and sleep in the absolute lap of luxury.

And, what single bed is not complete without the one item that is coveted by men and women alike, that is the cause of many unresolved conflicts, and has led to our married friend’s main source of jealousy for the single life once again…the remote control.

Viva la Single Life. I rest my case.

Here come the holidays and the holiday parties! This could also be a great social situation to find yourself talking to someone new. So let’s go over some basic pointers of conversation starters, and no, ‘look at the cranberries wiggle’ doesn’t count.

The purpose of breaking the ice with someone isn’t to show off your amazing conversational skills. Instead, think of this as a way to show a potential date that you would like to get to know them better. Comment on something in your immediate surroundings, such as the long line at the buffet table, or the dude that has set up permanent residence under the mistletoe. By focusing on a shared experience, you’re removing any potential awkwardness with a standard pick-up line.

Sometimes a look is all you need. When faced with a person you find attractive, why not give them a genuine three second smile? You may be surprised when they walk over and start a conversation with you. If the smile doesn’t work, I find that crossing your eyes and making a fish face works every time.

Simply use an article of clothing or piece of jewelry as a conversation starter. Women love to tell you where they found such a great bracelet to pair with their little black dress, and when in doubt, compliment her shoes. For men, tell them their tie looks nice and how it brings out the color of their eyes. If anyone is wearing the proverbial reindeer holiday sweater, no comment is needed.

Now what? So you got through the initial contact, and are impressing the other person with your witty and entertaining banter. The conversation now needs to go somewhere. How about discussing current affairs, or perhaps a movie you recently watched. Comment about the event you are attending and find their connection for being at this holiday soiree. Let your conservation partner do half the talking, with a natural blend of questions from you. This is not an interrogation though, so keep it light and simple.

Don’t focus on one topic for too long. You want to give them enough to keep them intrigued and perhaps consider coffee after the party. If you continue on and on about your mad skills on Guitar Hero, then you’re just known as the ‘wannabe rock star’. No one wants that…and really, no one dates that.