iPhone-toting love seekers now have the power of dating at their finger tips.  Available at the App Store are new downloads to help find a date, check a date, or just get out of a bad date.

Date Check
It’s Friday night in Denton and a Kenneth Cole suit just slipped you his digits. You can instantly find out if he’s the real deal by running a background check.  With only a name, phone number, or email address, Date Check scours public records – from Facebook to homeowner filings and sex-offender databases – to confirm that your happy hour partner is not wanted in three states.  Now, you can cyberstalk someone while you sit right beside him.

Skout
Input your location and a basic profile, and this easy app locates other singles in your vicinity from among 450,000 users.  You can chat with a prospect before deciding to meet.  Your location is given as a distance down to a tenth of a mile (not a map), so it’s still a little like Where’s Waldo, without locking a GPS signal on your forehead.

Fake Calls
This is the most brilliant app for dating I must say.  So you find her, you ran a background check and she even passed for meeting your Mom.  But what if she turns out to be a bore on your date?  Ready your escape plan beforehand by using Fake Calls.  Simply set a time for your phone to ring and from whom the “call” will come, for instance your Aunt Joan.  Then midway through the date, when your phone rings, and it shows Aunt Joan calling, you fake exasperation at the news of her labrador escaping yet again.  Or, if things are actually going really well on the date, simply ignore the call.

On A Date
Tired of bringing your date to the same restaurant and movie?  Are you known as the “Applebee’s/Insert Rom-Com Movie Here” Guy?  No fear, On A Date offers 250 concepts for the idea-challenged dater.   Now even you can look like you planned for weeks, instead of what you’re really doing, which is downloading the app right now.

For those of you who say “I don’t like football,”  well I say it’s because you don’t know football.  For some, the most exciting thing about Super Bowl Sunday is the commercials, and although highly entertaining, there are other facets of this great occasion that warrant attention.  First off, the Super Bowl is a great time to throw a party.  For the ladies, this could potentially mean a large group of single guys gathering at your place.  For the dudes, this could be the opportunity to eat some decent food at a football party instead of last night’s cold pizza and the stale bag of tortilla chips left over from Cinco de Mayo…of last year.

Ladies, this is not the time to break out the cucumber and dill finger sandwiches you think are cute.  Messy wings, two alarm chili, a dip concoction involving beef and tons of cheese, and the appropriate selection of brews are quality servings.  Dudes, go the extra mile and pick up a bag of chips to bring along with your grande suitcase of Shiner.

Before the party starts, let’s learn a few things about America’s game, which can easily be compared to dating (shown in italics).  The object of the game is to move the ball down the field in order to score points (the same as going on many dates to finally find a “good” one).  Just how that is accomplished is not so easy.  The offense is given four tries to advance the ball at least ten yards, from the original line of scrimmage, while the defense attempts to intercept the ball, tackle the receiver, or knock the carrier out of bounds  (you’re making an attempt to get to know someone, while exes from your/their past keep showing up, annoying habits get in the way, or the person is just a jerk ).

The third down is very important.  If the third down is successful, the offense gets the necessary yardage to complete the full ten yards and they start over.  Four more tries to get ten more yards (It’s all about chances. Let’s say the date went great, well let’s go out again ).  But, if after the third down the offense has not been able to advance ten yards, it is the fourth down and they have three options:

1. They can go for the fourth down (you don’t know if you’re really into this person, but you’ll go out one more time ).

2. If they are in field goal range, they can go for three points (this might not be the right one for you, but they have great potential ).

3. They can punt  (pretty much you have given up).

If the players go for it and make it, it’s first and ten!  That’s known as a fourth down conversion. They’ve just “converted” that fourth down into another first down  (you gave it a chance and relationship is going great).

Now we’re near the goal line (your goal was to find a really cool person to date).  The quarterback drops back, giving him room to throw into the endzone to his intended receiver (you get up the nerve to ask them to date exclusively).  The receiver makes the catch and your team just scored 6 points (they feel the same about you!).

As you can see, a football game is just like dating.  Sometimes you make a pass and your intended receiver is right there or even a tight end picks it up.  Sometimes it’s missed.  But always remember, you are a free agent…and if you don’t like playing the field, you can always change the game.

Write to single@dentonlifestyles.com

Now on to another fixation….Facebook. What a fantastic way to keep up with friends and family. Now, I have seen more albums of vacations and babies than I almost care to talk about, but I also have been able to re-connect with many lost friends and family members. It’s a regular class reunion minus the photo montages set to bad flashback tunes and silly name tags with your senior picture. And get this, if someone from your previous life asks to “friend” you – you can just say no. There have been a few people I went to school with that asked to “friend” me. I thought about it, and wrote back “I wasn’t your friend in the real world, so I doubt seriously we will be close in cyber world either.” That did feel good. I was being rightfully selective, and yet a little revengeful at the same time.

I recently read an article about the dying art of communication. Well, haven’t we just reverted back to the beginnings of primitive wall writings? In this age, Facebook is our island of Philae, the home page is the temple wall, and we are free to create hieroglyphics until the wee hours of the morning. Just like the Egyptians before us, we can read what everyone else is doing in their day to day life, as well as leave a little note to mark our passing through. Yes, some people use this outlet to announce every feeling they are having at every moment of their mundane existence, but there are still some benefits to keeping the art of communication alive and well. I bet somewhere in Egypt, on a wall in a blessed temple, there is scripted: “Is it Friday yet?”

Write to single@dentonlifestyles.com and follow on Twitter.com/ DentonSingleGal

All the single ladies (as the song goes) listen up. You are not defined by the clothes you wear, the purse you carry, nor the ring on your finger and the person who placed it there. This is not a prize you get after the 5k Single Race of the Fittest. There’s no finish line.

So many women lace up and jump on track to find the perfect man, mate, future father of their beautiful unborn children, never once slowing the pace down and actually enjoying the run itself. Then once they do find that special someone, and make the matrimonial commitment, their mere existence seems to fall aside. “No, we can’t join you for dinner, Joe is out of town on business.” “We would love to attend your party, but Joe is under the weather.” Well, Joe is the one who’s sick sweetheart – reach in your closet and grab a fun outfit and while you’re in there, look for the personality you lost, go out and have a good time.

Now, I’m not saying I do not believe in marriage. I honestly do, and think it’s one of life’s most fascinating, spiritual, and emotionally connected unions. Humans are naturally pack animals. We have the drive to find a mate to walk beside us, share our meals, and groom each other in private. Just don’t lose who ‘you’ are in the process. I feel that if enough people clearly defined themselves before walking down the aisle, we would have a lower divorce rate.

“Put a Ring on It”. The only time I will be saying that line is while I’m standing across the counter at Tiffany’s, looking deeply into the eyes of a polished, dark suited salesman named Geoff. Pass the little blue bag dude…I’ll take care of putting it on.

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For our single-challenged married friends and readers, let me give you a peek into the mystical world of singledom for a better understanding of it’s elusive charm, and the joy of living alone. First stop, the American Idol shower competition. There is nothing that gets the day started better than stepping up to the shower head mic and belting out the chorus to “Mamma Mia.” My canine companion especially likes it when I do the Abba re-mix performance and throw in a little “Dancing Queen.”

Off to work – didn’t do the dishes? Unless Helga the Cleaning Fairy arrives, more than likely those dishes will still be there patiently waiting for you to return and give them proper attention.

Drinks with the co-workers at five o’clock? Sure! Need to call anyone for a kitchen pass…umm no! Enough said.

Back home in the evening, and cleaning the dishes from dinner, oh and the ones that Helga missed from breakfast, and…wait! Is that Dancing With The Stars coming on? Oh yes it is, and my ceiling fan has just turned into a disco ball! Dishes can wait, I must learn to successfully perform the fox trot in case I am chosen at random to showcase my superior skills in a prize winning competition. Canine companion makes an excellent partner!

Bedtime. This is the most beautiful, need I say, most purest of joys one can truly experience when single. That is…the middle of the bed. Yes, it is true. Single people get to sleep smack dab in the middle of their own beds, with all the pillows and covers surrounding them as if to make a great wall in order to ward off all bad spirits from the day, and sleep in the absolute lap of luxury.

And, what single bed is not complete without the one item that is coveted by men and women alike, that is the cause of many unresolved conflicts, and has led to our married friend’s main source of jealousy for the single life once again…the remote control.

Viva la Single Life. I rest my case.

The purpose of breaking the ice with someone isn’t to show off your amazing conversational skills. Instead, think of this as a way to show a potential date that you would like to get to know them better. Comment on something in your immediate surroundings, such as the long line at the buffet table, or the dude that has set up permanent residence under the mistletoe. By focusing on a shared experience, you’re removing any potential awkwardness with a standard pick-up line.

Sometimes a look is all you need. When faced with a person you find attractive, why not give them a genuine three second smile? You may be surprised when they walk over and start a conversation with you. If the smile doesn’t work, I find that crossing your eyes and making a fish face works every time.

Simply use an article of clothing or piece of jewelry as a conversation starter. Women love to tell you where they found such a great bracelet to pair with their little black dress, and when in doubt, compliment her shoes. For men, tell them their tie looks nice and how it brings out the color of their eyes. If anyone is wearing the proverbial reindeer holiday sweater, no comment is needed.

Now what? So you got through the initial contact, and are impressing the other person with your witty and entertaining banter. The conversation now needs to go somewhere. How about discussing current affairs, or perhaps a movie you recently watched. Comment about the event you are attending and find their connection for being at this holiday soiree. Let your conservation partner do half the talking, with a natural blend of questions from you. This is not an interrogation though, so keep it light and simple.

Don’t focus on one topic for too long. You want to give them enough to keep them intrigued and perhaps consider coffee after the party. If you continue on and on about your mad skills on Guitar Hero, then you’re just known as the ‘wannabe rock star’. No one wants that…and really, no one dates that.

While thinking about our candidates kissing babies and other things, I thought about kissing in general, a topic in dire need of discussion. Everyone has had an awkward first kiss moment, and no one likes a bad kisser. So, let’s go through a few points to remember.

Know the signals. The touch of your leg, or the rubbing of your arm are usually sure signs that the other person is digging you and would like a kiss. If she seems to be responding, lean in and look into her eyes, and let her take the lead. Warning: if she is not responding to this, do not force the issue. Kissing is not a divide and conquer mission.

Make sure your hair is out of your face. Your new shampoo may smell delicious, but doesn’t taste like key lime pie. Get it out of the way before leaning in, as to not choke the dude.

Don’t go full-on open mouth the first time. This is not a race to see who gets their tongue down the other’s throat first. The experience of kissing should be enjoyed and not rushed as a prelude to something else. Enjoy the moment and the “getting to know you” phase, not the “getting to know if they still have tonsils.” Start gently for the first kiss, and if your partner seems to be enjoying it, go in for a little deeper kiss the next time.

Learn the importance of lip balm. Great at-home exfoliation: sugar. Leaves the skin polished and a little sweet tasting. Always apply lip balm after exfoliating, and at bedtime. Ladies, either go for the 8-hour stay put, cant come off without a laser lip color, or opt for lightly tinted gloss. The desired result is to not leave your partner looking like a Bourbon Street drag queen.

Kissing is very important in all intimate relationships, but it should also be fun. And, as with anything, practice makes perfect.

The very top of this list is hygiene. You might laugh, but it is often overlooked. Before the big date, hit the drug store. Believe it or not, there is more than one kind of soap and deodorant. Yes, really. Shower, shave, and put a nice cologne on (the key word here is nice, not an olfactory receptor killing spray). You may be a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy, but on a first date, you really need to go the extra mile in order to make a good impression. Consider a shirt with buttons. On a side note, I cannot stress enough how much you need to leave the Hawaiian shirt at home…deep in the back recesses of your closet.

Money, a good thing to have. And, try and go to the ATM before the date. It shows that you took the time to plan for your date, and that it didn’t just “spring up” on you. First dates are not a time to have cash flow conversations. If you are the few these days that are actually rolling in the big bucks, keep it to yourself. No one likes a show-off. On the flip side, if you are less than stellar in the monetary department, keep that one on the down low as well. It shows acceptance of your current status and no ambition for change.

Drinking and dating don’t mix. Which means, let’s not get sloshed on the first date, and lay a path for disaster. If you are college age, alot of the spots you will tend to hang out will be campus bars. Drinking is alright, but just keep it in moderation. At the end of the evening, you want to make sure your date arrives home safely, and not where your date is putting cold wet towels on your neck while you talk to the porcelain gods. Alcohol can be a relaxant for blind date jitters, but just keep it to one or two.

Lastly, there’s the little white lies. Sure, on a first date, you want to appear exciting and interesting. But eventually the truth will come out, and then you will seem a little more of an annoyance then second date material. Just remember, your date is on a fact finding mission, and will stop at nothing to find out what dirt lies beneath your seemingly squeaky clean exterior. To avoid looking utterly stupid in the end, just be honest in the beginning.

To Market we go
Do you both share a love of food and cooking? Hit up the farmer’s market near downtown together that morning, and get some fresh veggies to bring home and make a relaxing lunch together.

Let the Vino flow
Meet for a wine tasting at one of the wine bars On The Square. Whether you’re a wine connoisseur or have trouble telling Cabernet from Merlot, visiting a wine tasting together is a great way to get to know each other while learning something new and sampling one of life’s true pleasures. And besides, it’s not called “liquid courage” for nothing.

Study the works of Poe
If you both enjoy books, attend a reading at Recycled Books, and then browse the shelves comparing notes about your favorite authors and titles. Follow that up with coffee and dessert, and you’ve got a first date that could be the start of a new life chapter.

Rollin’ the Dough
Yes, I’m resorting back to food, it’s a passion. Extreme Cuisine offers some wonderful cooking classes, that are small and intimate. With others also participating in the cooking, the weight of conversation is not completely on your shoulders. Besides, who doesn’t look good in an apron?

Get on the Go
Maybe you both enjoy tennis or golf, or just like going for long walks in one of Denton’s parks. Sharing an activity can be a fun experience, as well as an insightful one. You can tell alot about a person when they’re hurling a club across the green.

The point in the end is to get out there, even if you require floaties, and just get your feet wet. Being over fifty doesn’t mean there aren’t any first date jitters. It just means you have more experience then your younger counterparts, and that really is a good thing about age. Considering there’s no lifeguard on duty.

Considering our precious commodities in this constantly receding economy, isn’t our one truly prized possession our hearts? Some people give their’s freely, just throwing it out there and hoping someone catches it with care. Others tend to keep their heart closely guarded, and only share when someone has passed all tests and is deemed worthy.

For us “Single” fans out there, we have probably seen the new Sex And The City movie. As brilliant and true to the TV show as it was, how many of you could completely identify with Carrie and her feelings after the ‘dumptation’ of Mr. Big? We have all been there, we just didn’t have the money to run off to Mexico and properly bury the lost love. At that moment, it felt like justice should be served. There may not be a place in our jail system for repeat love offenders, but there has to be a place in the afterlife. At least it helps to think that way after you are burning the last of the love letters and mix tapes over the coals of the relationship.

Wouldn’t it be a truly great world if we could have a website devoted to these people? That way when one moves into your neighborhood, his/her name could be displayed beside their past offenses. Of course, we would be fair and use a rating system, perhaps stars. You just really wasn’t into the guy, one star. You changed the locks and drained her bank account, four stars.

As I have said before, until bar codes are applied to the foreheads of humans allowing us to take a scan of their past, all I can say is…slap some tape on that broken heart of yours and recycle, recycle, recycle. In the day of living amongst coronary criminals, green is the new red.