Have you noticed that dating etiquette in the 21st century has somehow made it’s way back to the Stone Age? At what point did we revert from clubbing all night long, to clubbing a woman over the head and dragging her back to your cave? I will be the first to burn a bra, and raise a sign at a women’s lib rally, so I am not saying that I miss days of intense chivalry. But I am saying there are a few basic dating principles that should apply in today’s world, since we are at least walking upright now.

First off, don’t stand someone up, ever. If something else arises, simply call or text the reason you cannot make the date. If you cannot reach said person by phone, then at least show up and give a quick explanation for not continuing the date. If you are trapped under a piano that fell from the third floor of your apartment, and you are awaiting the jaws of life to free you, then please ask the paramedics to alert your date. Enough said.

Don’t bring up past relationships on the FIRST date. This is more so for the ladies. On a first date, this is not a taping of the Dr. Phil show. You are to apply the “get in/get out” theory without completely embarrassing yourself. No, he does not want to hear how your last guy thought you loved your little Pomeranian CoCo more than him. Not a good time. Move on.

Who pays? Simple. Whomever initiates the date should pay for the evening. But if there’s question, we’re in a new age where most women are making the same pay as men in the job market (thank God) so why not split it down the middle. If the guy picks up the tab for dinner, then the gal should spring for the movie and popcorn. Come on ladies, you want to be treated equal with pay, then you should spend just as equal. Same goes for holding the door open. Yes, I’m a Southern gal, with some old traditions that I still admire, but I also believe in being respectful. Ladies, open the door for your men on occasion. It shows a sign of courtesy, not dominance.

Lastly, and this is a big one…cell phones. I basically despise the concept, but they are everywhere and most people seem to use their phones at the most inopportune moments. Rule of thumb: not at dinner, not in the theater, not in the car. If you are checking scores to the football game, too bad, you should have stayed home and watched, or got TiVo. And no, your friend does not need to know what he ordered and what movie you are going to see. Save it for later. Come on, you need something to write about on your myspace tomorrow.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. We’ve all seen the commercials, which I must say, are extremely clever by the Nevada Tourism Board. Since when does Vegas get to have all the fun? And, what if you are someone who doesn’t like all-night slots, $1.99 buffets, and Diana Ross impersonators? Not to even mention those creepy guys with the tigers. Thankfully they stay in Vegas.

On a recent “Girl’s Trip” to New York City, I realized that you can have the kind of fun that is advertised as wild and crazy, in any city of your choice. Think about it, you are in another town, and there is really no possible chance of running into your boss or your minister, for that matter. So why not let your hair down? Pull out that freak ‘em dress, or those slacks you would never wear around Denton, and find your groove.

Friend’s Trips have always been popular weekend get-a-ways. But instead of getting the redundant mani/pedi special at the Four Seasons, or enjoying yet another round of golf at a course designed by Nicklaus, do something out of the ordinary. There are plenty of destinations in the States offering an array of quirky attractions for all budgets, and you don’t have to spend a million bucks to have those MasterCard Priceless memories. Sometimes all it takes is stepping out on the ledge, raising your punk rock fist in the air, and saying “I Dare to Live Today!”

See, the point of those fabulous Vegas commercials is not to convince us to party like a rock star, but rather to live with abandon. The message should be to remember that life is not a dress rehearsal. Take the time to create moments with your girlfriends, and the guys. Give yourself something substantial to talk about when you return to Denton besides Tommy’s amazing birdie on the 17th hole, or the wonderful new shade of pink that Tina decided on for her toes.

Apply these philosophies to the next time you and the pals are on the road. Now, I’m not saying to do body shots in some Florida beach bar while getting a skull and cross bones tattoo on your knee cap. I’m just merely suggesting that there is more to life out there, and you don’t have to go to Vegas to have that kind of fun. Because in the end, what happens on a Friend’s Trip, stays there. At least…until the film is developed.

My sister recently went on a blind date. Which gets me thinking, why is it called a “blind” date? In our ‘PC’ world, isn’t that just rude to our sight challenged citizens? And, if we are trying to find the light of our lives out there, why do we want to constantly put ourselves in the dark?

For those of you scared to venture on that dreaded ‘I have no idea what this person looks like’ experience, I say go for it. Think about it, when you are ordering from a new restaurant, do you ask the waiter to bring your food first in order to see the cuisine, before you decide if you want to dine? Now, if the establishments you tend to frequent have handy pictures on their menus, then apparently you have no clue what I am talking about. But for the rest of you out there, think of going on this new date, as trying out that night’s special. If things do not jump off the plate, it’s not a complete failed experience. You just realize maybe it wasn’t meant for your palate, and you still got nourished in some way.

Since we are now going to call this “soup du jour” dates, here are a few pointers to make the evening bearable. Instead of meeting for a full meal, try the first date at a bar for cocktails, or a coffee house. We have a new Starbucks in town, that has great outdoor seating for once the sun goes down. Three Fins Restaurant just across the street makes a killer cosmopolitan, and the bar is a great scene on Friday and Saturday nights. Start with liquid refreshment and then see where the evening takes you.

Of course on “soup” dates, there is no wait staff to turn to if your date is less than appetizing. There is no chef behind the great doors, ready to rescue you from an unsavory evening. Now I believe all dates should come with an expiration date stamped on their head, and also a listing of ingredients that could potentially be bad for my health. But since humans are probably the last things in the free world without a bar code and calorie count shown, we need to rely on instinct.

The whole point of this, is that you have to get out there. You shouldn’t be scared of the unknown. You should be scared of the never knowing. The “soup” date you pass up this week, could have been the best ribeye steak you ever had. On the other hand, it could be the limpest piece of broccoli as well. But as all our mothers have told us…you have to eat your veggies, in order to get the dessert.

This article will be aimed for all my dating dudes out there. I am always asked, “how can I meet girls?” Well, the first step is simple my friend, leave your house! Yes, that’s right, you need to actually put the remote down, get off the couch, and go out in the world, and you will see there are many great gals roaming the streets in your midst.

Where do you find these creatures in their natural habitat you might ask? You have to venture into areas that might not be all familiar to you. First stop, try an aerobics class at your gym. Believe it or not, they actually offer those even at your pumping iron palace. Don’t fret if you don’t know all the steps, or have the rhythm of a moose. The women in the class will admire you for giving your all, and that gives you an advantage to the other dudes sweating over the free weights outside.

Next, try a home decor place like Pier One, or Kirkland’s, both in Denton. Unless you are a “metro” Dentonite, then you may have the decorating ability equivalent to a Picasso painting – lots of weird colored objects placed all over in no particular order. What a great pick-up line to ask someone’s advice on what would be a great centerpiece for your coffee table. I know…you may not even own a coffee table, let alone care about how it is set, but it’s a good conversation opener.

While in the same shopping center, hit Old Navy. There is nothing a single girl loves more than giving fashion advice to the bumbling textile-challenged man. You may see this as showing a bit of weakness in front of the opposite sex, but to the female shopper, it shows humility and respect for her opinion. And, if you play your cards right, you can work in how the outfit would look great for a first date!

Lastly, the grocery store. Word of advice – not the frozen food section. I’m talking about whole foods that you actually cook without using your microwave. Do a little research first. See what wines pair well with different cuts of meat, so you can offer suggestions to the blonde buying steaks. Perhaps learn a recipe or two so you can throw out interesting babble like “I just love chopped cilantro topping my salads, with a splash of fresh lemon juice.” Ok, maybe I went too far with that one, I mean, you do want to seem at the very least honest. But then again, talking about how you like to mix catsup and mayo to dip your french fries in doesn’t sound as sexy, now does it?

Ah, the seasons are changing. I’m not speaking of Spring in the air, and summer approaching. I’m speaking of baseball season. Yes, that’s right, this single gal loves the boys of summer and fields of dreams. And with nine innings of quality “get-to-know-you” time, what better way to spend a first date then at America’s favorite game! Denton Outlaws has some of the finest college athletes in the nation, and now with Sammy Sosa on deck, there’s our beloved Texas Rangers. For you baseball challenged singletons out there, I shall offer the beginner’s guide for looking like an expert, in order to impress that new guy or girl.

Clutch hitter. The hitter that has a knack for coming up with the ‘big’ hit, usually a game deciding hit and in the form of a home run. With the Rangers, this is typically Tex or Blalock.

Fielder’s Choice. The act of a fielder, upon fielding a batted ball, choosing to put out one advancing runner, while allowing the batter-runner to advance to first base. Example: “Good call on Young picking off the runner at 2nd.”

Corked bat. With Mr. Sosa as a Ranger now, let’s skip this one.

Designated Hitter. Position in American League ball, that allows teams to boost sagging offensive performance by designating a player at bat in place of the pitcher (who does not bat).

No-hitter. Refers to a contest in which at least one of the teams has prevented the other from getting an official hit during the entire length of the game. This achievement is rare and considered to be an extraordinary accomplishment for a pitcher or pitching staff. Example: “Millwood threw a no hitter tonite.” (ok, yes, I laughed a little while typing that)

As you can see, the game of baseball can be parallel to dating. No, I’m not talking about juevenile terms as “making it to third base”. We’re adults here, and we have learned useful baseball terms. Sure, everyone wants to go out with a “clutch hitter”, but sometimes a “designated hitter” will do for the evening. At the end of a date, you have the “fielder’s choice” as whether to date this person again or not. If your date seems uninterested, then it probably was a “no-hitter”. But don’t worry, everyday is a new game. Finally, if the evening does go well, as Sammy Sosa knows now….stay away from the corked bats.

Spring time is coming. Like most of the married couples out there, we singletons want to do the same thing…home improvement! Or as the catch phrase these days – “DIY” – Do It Yourself. And, nothing is more true than if you are single, so it should be re-named “DIBY” – Do It By Yourself.

I first set out to the golden promise land of home improvement, The Home Depot. At first glance, you can’t help but notice the Noah’s Ark of customers in there. Two by two, couples are together on a Saturday morning to learn from the Depot experts, and then go home and screw it up themselves. Laughingly, I enjoy my shopping experience knowing that I will not have an argument with my partner on Aisle 5 over what light fixture would look best with our new ceiling fan, that no one will ever notice anyway. I am in the pursuit of just the right blue/brown combo of paint for my bedroom, hardly a little task considering the choices. After buying supplies, I head to the king of paints, Sherwin Williams, where by the end of my shopping and paint samples extravaganza, I have purchased 8 shades of blue and 1 shade of brown. The men of Sherwin Williams in Corinth know me by name, and happily rejoiced when I did choose the final colors, considering my bedroom was the equivalent of the Patridge Family bus.

Now comes the fun part of DIBY. Painting is not an extremely hard job if done alone. In a way, it can be quite therapeutic. No, the funny part, and thus humorous stories for your married friends, is where you try and move furniture by yourself. Yes folks, beds are hernia-causing heavy. Not to mention the dust balls you find once the bed is moved, that could mimic the size of a large rodent. A second negative to painting alone would be when you fall from the ladder. As I lay there, and picture my body being discovered three days later only after a stench has covered the entire neighborhood, I realize that the Home Depot should sell the equivalent of a panic button with all projects they demonstrate. That way, when you are horizontal beneath your 8 foot ladder, one of the super guys in orange, can come to the rescue.

The plus of DIBY? That awesome sense of accomplishment when you step away from your completed project and can gladly proclaim – I did it! Although, the downside of that is there’s usually no one there to proclaim this too, except for the dog who is too high on paint fumes anyway to notice the sheer enjoyment of new color on a bedroom wall.